Look, as someone who experienced depression first hand (and still does), I feel that I have earned the right to say this.
Depressed people are annoying to be around.
Let me re-phrase that: Depressed people can be incredibly infuriating to be around.
Although I was already incredibly infuriating to be around to begin with, my depression only made it worse.
Sure, some of you may dislike the entire idea of this article, and that’s reasonable.
This article is not meant to hurt anyone, depression is a very real thing, the type of thing that some of us struggle with daily.
And to be fair, messing with the depressed or insulting them is a big no-no.
That being said, depressed people can often time be a nuisance without really meaning to be.
Depression twists our minds in certain ways that can frankly make us a bother.
Not only that, but those of us who aren’t depressed are forced to tolerate this type of behavior, which is entirely unfair.
But I think most non-depressed folks already knew that.
So here’s an eye-opener for those few with real, actual depression – you are annoying to deal with.
And you know what? that’s perfectly fine!
Your condition is entirely reasonable, your struggles are certainly real, but you are a difficult person to be around.
What do I mean? Let’s see now…
1) They are very self-centered and selfish
Back when I was in the military, and was depressed as a direct result of that, I got called out by multiple people for being selfish.
Keep in mind, most of those people were officers who tried to use shaming tactics against me, but my point still stands.
I’ve already discussed this point once before, but people with depression are extremely selfish by nature.
This type of behavior wouldn’t be otherwise acceptable among most groups of people.
For example, if a co-worker were to tell you that he “doesn’t feel like” working today, or doing anything in particular, you would get pretty pissed at him.
Yet this is exactly the case with depressed people and you have every right to get annoyed at them for it.
Some people try to corner those depressed people and force them to “snap out of it”, but that’s a really dumb thing to do.
2) They are entitled
In a way, this is actually a direct continuation to my previous point.
I try to keep negative people away from my own life, as they do nothing but drag me down, yet sometimes there is no other way but to listen to their struggles.
One such occurrence revolved around a friend of mine, who suddenly got depressed.
So far so good, right? I mean, I myself struggled with depression so I felt as though I could help him out.
And I did.
We talked a lot, I listened and gave my advice – whenever he needed help I was sure to be there for him.
Yet all of my advice was disregarded and ignored.
Now don’t get me wrong, most people know next to nothing about the inner workings of depression, but I felt as though I had a bit of a perspective on the matter.
I shared what I knew, and he just blew it off as “it won’t work for me” or “I tried this already”
He already gave up on his struggle against depression, being too comfortable with this state of mind.
Not planning to change anything.
Nothing can really help a person who isn’t willing to help himself.
In a way, depressed people are like kings.
Sitting high on their throne and looking for someone else to solve their problems, all the while disregarding any answer that isn’t to their liking without a second thought.
There is not gratitude there.
It’s a fundamental flaw in their thinking – they care little for practically anything.
Let’s be real here, at the moment they don’t care for your efforts – they want these feelings to stop but aren’t really willing to do anything about that.
That doesn’t mean that you should stop trying to help them though (we’ll get to that bit later on).
3) They are plain needy and you are forced to take responsibility for them
People in modern society enjoy treating depressed people as though they are fragile little dolls who can’t be touched (or else!).
They need to be listened to and supported, and guess on whom this responsibility falls? You!
A few years back I had this emo guy that suddenly entered my (practically nonexistent) social circle.
You know, dressing black, talking about odd philosophies and being emotionally scarred.
The full package.
Honestly? I could not stand the guy.
He would always talk about how people in this world are struggling, and how depressed they are.
It was when he told us about how yet another one of his friends nearly committed suicide is when I snapped at him.
In my defense, it wasn’t much.
We were talking over skype when he suddenly decided to drop this bomb on us, everyone got really uncomfortable but didn’t say anything.
So I did.
I told him that people like these are a toxic influence and that it wasn’t his secret to share.
The guy made a big show out of it and told me that I was too scared of my own emotions before leaving the conversation.
We haven’t spoken since.
Yet somehow I was at fault here, despite being perfectly polite and reasonable.
Apparently, I should have just closed my mouth and ignored/listened to him or something. I dunno.
You need to walk on eggshells around them and tolerate their quirks.
That’s pretty messed up, considering you wouldn’t do it for anyone else under most circumstances.
4) They tend to force their world views on others
When I tried to help my friend with his depression he just blew me off, going on about how life is meaningless and so on.
Really, would you like to be friends with this type of person?
Honestly, he did nothing but talk about how horrible everything is.
They say that misery loves company, and depressed people love other depressed people.
You are the average of the people you choose to spend time with – it’s only a matter of time before you become more similar to them.
My tone may be light but I am not making light of this situation – depressed people are toxic and a bad influence.
If at all possible, a rational person should avoid them like the plague.
But then again, maybe you shouldn’t (but we’ll get to that later on)
5) They are terrible people to be around
From an outside perspective, depressed people are just plain bad people to hang out with.
They have no sense of humor and they seem to have poor reactions towards everything.
They never want to hang out, they have nothing interesting to say and they tend to be very bland as far as personalities go.
But how is this annoying? After all, can’t you just walk away? You probably don’t spend time with people you don’t like, right?
But what if those depressed people are friends and family? In that case, talking to them might often times seem as though you are talking to a wall.
The worst part is that often times, depressed people can be just as bland as any wall.
But your contribution is very much necessary.
All of that being said, you shouldn’t turn your back on them
If we were to be fully objective then depressed people are some of the worst people you can spend your time with.
But humans aren’t really objective and rational creatures to begin with.
As such, you really shouldn’t ignore those people who are in need.
Look, the lifetime prevalence of major depression is, on average, anywhere between 14%-19% of the population.
Furthermore, about 6.7% of all U.S citizens suffer from depression at any given moment.
What does this mean? Well, for one thing, it means that you probably know at least one person who has suffered from depression.
Possibly even a few who are currently struggling with this disorder.
If you had a broken arm, I don’t think you would be acting normal, would you? Believe it or not, it’s the same thing for depressed people.
Yet most don’t outrage at the fact that people with broken bones don’t care about anything but their own pain, yeah?
My suggestion would be to help them out or, at the very least, to not get in their way.
If you can’t seem to tolerate them then walk away, don’t say anything dumb or offensive.
Better to not make an idiot out of yourself, believe me.
What do you think?
So after hearing me go on and on about the shortcomings of depressed people, what do you think?
Do you help them out? Do you tolerate them? Do you maybe coddle them too much?
Whatever it is, I would love to hear more about it!
Make sure to write down your thoughts in the comment section below, I always love hearing about them!
If you happen to be outraged by this article then I apologize (although perhaps a bit too late).
If you got any personal questions you would like to ask me then feel free to send an email.