How to Cope With Depression After a Break Up

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Learning how to cope with depression after a break up is the first step of moving on, that much I can tell you right off the

Alright, so let me be frank with you – I am terrible when it comes to relationships, and while I can understand guys to a certain degree I am oblivious to women’s feelings.

No, not like some cliche protagonist from a badly written story that all the girls have a crush on, but rather like an adventurous explorer that just found a lost civilization.

In other words, I may be very enthusiastic about finding more info, but all of that isn’t going to be enough for me actually experience it on my own flesh.

I am lacking in that regard.

Heck, I never even was in a relationship before!

All that being said, though, I do know hardship, and I know a lot of people that went through harsh break ups.

I actually wrote an article about divorces, and why you should chin up and pull through them.

That article proved itself as useful to all of those who read it, and my advice on the matter proved itself to be valuable to all of my friends.

Why is that?

Well, you could just go on and say that I “don’t know what I am talking about”, but that won’t solve your problem at all.

You see, it’s a lot easier for people to think that their problems are unique and that no one can understand them, but most problems in the world aren’t unique.

Not only that but psychology explains pretty much anything that you may go through to some level at the very least.

Here’s the deal – you either have depression (mood, not disorder) that might develop into depression (disorder) or you suffer from separation anxiety (disorder) that might develop into depression (disorder), or some odd hybrid of these two options.

That’s all that I really need to understand to help you.
And luckily for you, I do know how to help you!
Alright, so here it is – how to cope with depression after a break-up!

Accept the facts and learn from them

This may be a bit harsh, but you need to do this.
You went through a break-up, and that means that your relationship is over.

You need to stop clinging onto that past glory and to push on my friend, because your ex (and yes, I mean ex as in “former”) boy/girlfriend, and they aren’t coming back either.

Look, I may come off as a jerk here, but I can’t stress this enough – you need to accept that you went through a break-up and move on.
Don’t try to get your relationship back, not only will that not work but you will also make yourself even more depressed when you end up failing.

All the time and effort that you will be wasting aside, of course.
Too many people that I know did some ridiculous things to get their broken relationships back.

For all I know you might be doing something stupid to get back into a bad relationship right now.

Let me stop you right here and tell you to drop it, you are only going to suffer even more if you don’t.
Instead, you should sit down and think, break your break-up down by asking yourself questions such as:

  • “Why did we break up?”
  • “Was there any development leading to this break-up, or was it just spontaneous?”
  • “What did I do wrong?”

Remember that last question, we will be getting back to it later.

Live a full life

the best way to get over separation anxiety is to simply move on, and as for depression caused be separation, it’s the same.

Take a while to be single again, enjoy this newfound freedom – it’s been a while since you were single, no?
Find people to hang out with, do things that you love because you love them, apply yourself into whatever it is that you are trying to do, give 110%.

Your time is precious, more so than you would ever believe.
Go and some fun, do things that you will remember for a lifetime -whether you are 20 or 40, the time is still right for you.

You shouldn’t be looking for a new relationship at least for a while, the reason for that is that you simply aren’t totally over your ex just yet (if you were you wouldn’t be depressed in the first place).
So make sure to enjoy whatever it is that you are doing, as it will help you to push aside whatever thoughts you are having about your past relationship and look only at the near future.

leave the bad things behind you and march on to a better life!

“One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure”
                                                                                                                       ~William Feather

Explore new things

 

Invest in yourself and collect the interest

One of my firm beliefs is that to get anything in your life you first need to make yourself into the type of person able to take it.Want to be rich? Become someone who can be rich.

Want to be rich? Become someone who can be rich.
Want to be funnier? Work on that.
Want to find a good relationship that will last? Build yourself into someone who attracts other people to him, rather than the other way around, become someone that people want to stick to.

People tend to throw the blame on anything and everything to other people, because it’s easier that way.
When was the last time your boss came to his boss and told him that something was totally his fault, rather than just blaming it on someone else (like you)?

People don’t like to take responsibility, they believe that it “lowers their value” or something along those lines when, in reality, it’s the complete opposite.

What do I mean by that? Allow me to elaborate.
If you blame everything on yourself, you can actually make a change that will solve your problem.
Do you think that your boss will get anything done by blaming you or your co-workers? Nah, it’s going to be the same thing the next month, and for the one after that as well.

Don’t fall into this trap, put in the work and make yourself exceptional: hit the gym, read books, get more confident, develop a better sense of humor, become someone that people enjoy being around.

This is an investment of your time, and the interest is the results.

People like exceptional people, they are attracted to them.
So turn yourself into an exceptional person, into the type of person who everyone wants to be with, get your life back and be greater than ever before.
One thing that I would recommend to you is to check my article about developing habits, as they are your most powerful tools for accomplishing any goal.

All of that self-improvement will give you more options to choose from among future partners, which leads me to…

Find someone else

Right, so after you accepted your break-up, started living your life fully and began putting in some real effort to come back stronger, you might be on the right path to starting a relationship once again.

Key word, ‘might’.
Only you can tell when you are truly over your ex, and getting into a relationship before that stage will lead to another bad break-up.
Only return to the “dating field” after you are 100% over you ex and have made some changes within yourself to ensure a better relationship.

Or maybe don’t – perhaps you found out that being single is the way you want to live your life, and that’s fine too.
In case you feel that you need to find a companion though you should come to understand that you have some options to choose from.

Here’s the deal, you put in the effort to make yourself exceptional, people like exceptional people, and because of that, they are going to like you too.

You got options to choose from, so take your time and don’t rush it, you can choose whenever you found the right person for you.

Success is important

I am no expert, I just have some solid advice to share

Right, and that’s it, folks!

Relationships aren’t an easy thing, so for some people, it may be best to stay single.
In case you went through a break-up you should be able to pick yourself better.

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
                                                                                – Friedrich Nietzsche

And as much of a cliche as it is, that quote is still 100% correct.
People tend to rise to their prime only after hitting rock bottom – they are in a bad place and they are desperate enough to put everything on the line to change their situation.

Steve Jobs, J.K Rowling, Walt Disney and many more people are examples of this belief, and you can be too!
So chin up my friend, the best is yet to come!

So while you go on making your life better here’s a quick question for you – “Have you ever gone through a bad break-up? What have you done afterward? Did it help?”

More than one question, but I really do want to hear about it from you.
Make sure to answer in the comments below, I read through every single one of them.
If you got any questions that you would like me to answer feel free to hit me up, I’m always free and I would love to hear from you.
Email: VladOsipkov@ProjectConquest.org

 

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4 Replies to “How to Cope With Depression After a Break Up”

  1. Hi Vlad. Great information. I like the tone of your information. Break ups do not need to lead to depression. I feel that one must stay strond and positive. Take stock of the things that make you a great person and find somebody else who appreciates you. As they say: There are plenty of fish in the sea!

    1. Hello Krish, thank you for you comment!

      You are 100% correct! A break up is the sign of a relationship gone bad, and if anything you should be glad that this chapter of your life is finally over.
      I am all for going around and telling yourself that if they aren’t interested in you, they are just missing out. It’s a powerful tool for confidence.

  2. Wonderful information, Thank you for the informative article as you are informing people to be aware of depression and taking care of themselves.I was also in a such situation when we broke up with my girlfriend and i almost lose my life.Thank you for counselling me and giving me good ideas.

    Yours
    Jose

    1. Thank you for commenting, Jose!

      I am glad to hear that in the end you didn’t lose your life over a break up, there’s plenty of fish in the sea and I am sure that whoever your next partner may be she will be better, since you learned from your previous relationship.

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