You know, negativity is just something that comes and sticks with your throughout your experiences with anxiety and depression.
The whole idea behind any mental illness is how it is intangible, yet unyielding in nature.
Negative thoughts both cause, and are the cause of, anxiety and depression.
So I would imagine that one major goal a person who wishes to treat their anxiety and/or depression might have is to get over their negative behavior.
The to learn how to stop being negative all the time, otherwise, their condition isn’t going to get much better.
So I searched for answers to that very question.
That’s where my problems started.
You see, most of the advice about being positive (or at least, not negative) is absolute junk.
Believe, I went through it all.
You could hardly find a method for eliminating negativity that I haven’t checked out.
Most people offer the “think well, be well” kind of advice, and it normally amounts to very little.
In my experience, common wisdom tends to be overrated – and this case isn’t an exception.
So instead of giving you useless advice about negativity, I am just going to give you 4 huge tips to use.
No fluff, no-nonsense advice for living a more positive life.
If you read this, you are bound to find at least one thing you haven’t heard before.
If you already figured out everything I am going to say then make sure to tell me so in the comment section below and I will personally find you solid advice.
With that being said, here are 4 tips on how to stop being negative all the time.
1) Make a list and stick to it
In my experience, most people just decide on whatever it is that they need to do and then just go on ahead and do that.
Well, at least in theory.
Lack of progress in achieving your goals is often times a source of negativity.
The way to do deal with it is by listing everything, literally everything, you have/want to do and then simply do it.
No matter how minor the goal may be, write it down.
Whenever you are done with something simply mark it off.
The ability to make progress and list off that progress is a huge step towards being fully motivated.
And let’s be honest, when was the last time that you saw a motivated person act in a pessimistic way?
I rest my case.
The second problem at hand is the fact that most people just try to do everything at the same time.
The real issue here is that most people simply can’t do everything all at once just as effectively.
That actually hurts us quite a bit.
We all have much that we wish to accomplish, and by trying to do everything all at once we end up accomplishing very little of it.
This is a huge mistake, and it will discourage you from making any more effort when it comes achieving goals that you set up for yourself.
As it stands, you are already negative. You don’t need more reasons to be discouraged.
2) The “can I do something about that” mindset
A big mistake some people make in relation to their negativity is developing a sense of guilt to go alongside it. Somehow believing that they could have done something about it.
In case you are a part of that group you better stop with that nonsense, it’s killing you.
How do you do that? Well, let me introduce you to my “I do what I can” system, it goes something like this:
- Something bad happened, can I do anything about it?
1) If the answer is yes: Then I should go and do it
2) If the answer is no: Then I should stop worrying – there’s nothing I can do.
As long as you could have done something to help – then you are to blame for not doing.
If you couldn’t have done anything, then you shouldn’t be worrying.
I am all for taking responsibility for your actions, but I still doubt that you should just take the blame for anything and everything.
In fact, I would advise against it.
But let’s take this one step further – ever heard of the “black swan event“?
Basically, it’s an occurrence that breaks the norm, something unexpected that is very difficult to predict beforehand.
Sure, if you had enough data and enough processing power to comprehend it you could have, maybe, done something.
But I don’t deal with philosophy, least of all when it comes to mental health.
If you applied for a job and they somehow lost your stuff then it’s not your fault.
Sure, you could have sent them an extra copy, and call twice a day to make sure that everything is fine, but it’s their fault for being unprofessional.
3) Avoid the media
People seem to be buzzing about extremes.
Nobody is going to talk about mundane things, so it’s pretty fair to say that most people are looking for something unique to discuss.
The big media centers know it, which is why the pump more and more specialized content every day.
They carefully choose to report certain things while avoiding the others for the sake of becoming more viral.
Some of this stuff is good, but most of it is pretty bad.
Quite frankly, negative media exposure, such as the news, can have negative effects on your mind over time.
What’s more, the same applies to social media as well!
Both of those things aren’t healthy for your brain, they’re just a massive collection of negative events and thoughts.
You are better off without either, honestly.
Sure, the news are important, but minimizing your exposure to unfortunate things can do wonders to you
This piece of info actually applies to negativity around you in general. Avoid bitter people, avoid gossip, avoid any of that nonsense.
We live in a world where information travels quickly but our emotional responses to that information can be very poor at times.
4) Positive affirmations and encouraging words are junk, here’s what you need
Being told, or telling yourself, to be positive isn’t going to do anything.
Nor are these phrases that you repeat to yourself are going to do anything.
Why? When faced with the raw emotion we struggle to think, much less think any complex thoughts.
The idea is that in order to succeed fighting negativity away you need a simplistic, natural, sense to take action.
If someone close to you died, or your loved one cheated on you, or maybe you got fired and are stuck in debt, how in the heck are you supposed to chant reassuring words in your head?
When faced with a certain emotional extreme, be it a high (such as rage and hatred) or a down (such as depression) you are in an extreme state of mind.
Since when did telling someone to calm down actually work? When was the last time that you told yourself that you will go on a diet, but didn’t?
The same can be said about people who try and talk you out of depression – when did that ever work out for you?
What you need is action, not words.
Sure, encouragement can have a positive effect, but actions are the enemy of negativity.
When we feel down we just want to sink further down.
Instead what we should be doing is stuff that makes us happy.
Actions are an excellent form of distraction, and they can often remind us of the good things in life.
Whenever we are left to our own thoughts we are likely to fall into our bad habits.
Negative people, for example, end up brooding quite a lot.
What you need is action, and little more.
Can I be more specific? Kinda, but experiences vary.
- Tell the person you care most about “I love you”
- Listen to your favorite music
- Go outside and do something
- Be open to new experiences
- Play with your dog
- Work on your hobby, even if you don’t feel like it
- Hang out with a close friend, just like you used to
Sure, it may not seem natural, and this list may not apply to you at all, but to feel good you need to do things that make you feel good.
Sounds simple? It is, almost obvious, right?
If it only weren’t for the fact that most people are not applying this method. At all.
Life tends to get in the way of that, despite how busy we all are.
You need to want to stop being negative all the time
When it really comes down to it, it’s all about your will.
If you want to make a change then change will come. If you don’t, then it won’t.
Yeah, I know that I disagreed with this line of thought throughout my entire article, but conditioning your habits is something that actually works.
Compared to that, simply trying to convince yourself that everything is great is not going to work
Anxiety and depression are like that, as are many other things in life.
Sure, I could have listed many more things that might have made your day a little brighter, but these are some of the most powerful methods I could come up with.
Let me know what you think of them in the comment section below.
Also, do me a favor and answer the following question while you are at it – What do you do when you feel down?
Make sure to write your answers, questions and requests down in the comment section below. I read every single one of them and I would love to hear more from you.
If you got any personal questions to ask me to make sure to send an email. I read all of them and always reply to the best of my ability.