Most people in the world have a certain sense of self and care greatly about what others think of them.
Whether this is good or bad is entirely subjective, but it is an undeniable fact that the opinions of others shape our thoughts, emotions, and actions.
Most of the things that we do are judged by others, it is a fact.
This, in turn, forces us to behave in a certain way, to be seen as normal.
But what happens when we simply are not “normal”?
In those cases, we find ourselves scared of being judged, mocked and cast aside.
This sense of fear inspires stress and worry, making us feel bad about ourselves and about our actions.
But what happens when we are already feeling stressed, worried, and anxious?
Well, in that case we find ourselves experiencing much more powerful emotions.
The kind of emotions that end up hurting us.
Are you ashamed of your anxiety?
The sad truth about anxiety is that most anxiety sufferers do not seek any help for their problems.
Sometimes it is viewed as something to be ashamed of, and as such people ignore it, choosing to keep it behind closed doors instead.
After all, anxiety has many noticeable symptoms, and our fear of being judged will skyrocket when someone points out how “wrong” we are acting.
This problem is particularly common among social anxiety sufferers, but the fear of being judged is universal.
For that reason, simply telling yourself to not care is not going to work.
Not only is this sense of belonging a part of our nature, it is also increased by social anxiety.
After all, anxiety is excessive worry and stress, with these feelings of shame only making it worse.
The question is what can you do about it?
Spoiler alert: The answer might surprise you.
1) Judgement is unavoidable
The first step in overcoming any form of fear is recognizing it for what it is.
There is no way for you to avoid being judged by others.
Even if you are not there, people might be talking about you, and there is nothing that can be done about it.
Nothing should be done about it, either – Being judged by others is normal!
The best thing that you can do to help yourself is to accept this reality.
You can do so by recalling that you yourself tend to judge people.
This brings up the question: Are your own thoughts regarding others that terrible?
If your answer is “no” then why should their thoughts be any different?
When it really comes down to it, the tendency to judge things comes from us being critical thinkers.
In reality, this is but human nature, and it is important to recognize it as such.
You can’t stop people from judging you, but that doesn’t really matter.
After all, what is the worst that will happen?
2) You are not all that important
The human attention span is surprisingly short, all things considered.
Our lives move around us and we spare very little time when it comes to most things.
This includes social interactions as well.
Even if something odd happens we are likely to shrug it off sooner than later, most things don’t occupy our thoughts for long.
The same can be said about any person that you interact with.
The truth is that most people can’t be bothered thinking about you.
Even if you are behaving oddly they are very likely to shrug it off nearly instantaneously.
Think about it for a moment from your perspective.
Let’s say that you met with someone that you know and they were behaving oddly for whatever reason.
Not to say that there was something wrong with them, but just that they were acting unusually.
You went your separate ways and that was that.
What can you do with the fact that they were acting unusually?
Sure, you think that they were being odd, but there really isn’t more to be said about it, right?You both moved on.
Ultimately, most things that we experience are trivial and forgettable.
Sure, you are pretty likely to be judged, it is human nature after all, but nothing is going to come out of it, so stop worrying yourself over nothing.
3) Reason with the problem
The biggest struggle with fear is that it is irrational, making it difficult to overcome through reason.
The biggest benefit of fear is that it is primal and basic, making most treatments relatively straightforward.
Fearing judgment means being afraid of either having others notice your flaws, point them out, or both.
Well, what are these flaws to begin, and why are they so important with?
By rationalizing your fear you will be able to fight it from even ground rather than letting it overwhelm you.
For example, if a person is very self-conscious of their weight and believe that they are being judged because of it, what difference does it make?
Sure, being overweight is unhealthy, but what will other people think when seeing an overweight person?
Most of them will probably move on with their lives, with maybe one of them thinking “slob” and then forget about it.
When we fear of judgment we think “what will other people say?” but we never actually answer that question.
What will they say? Probably not much.
By actually arriving to the logical conclusion of your thoughts you can prevent them from escalating for the worst
4) Make peace with your flaws
Changing the way that others think of us is hard.
Aside from being hard, basing your self-worth on things that your control over them is limited is not a very smart thing to do.
So here’s an alternative: Accept your flaws.
You see, most of our negative thoughts regarding the opinions of others stem from how we see and judge ourselves.
After all, you are the one who worries over what others may think of you.
If you notice a particular flaw you are likely to be self-conscious about it.
Because of that, you will behave differently and draw more attention to yourself, only making this entire situation harder for yourself.
By learning to accept yourself and your imperfections you will be able to stop obsessing about them.
This, in turn, will adjust your behavior and make it far more acceptable, with you retaining your calm and acting reasonably.
Learning to do that is easier said than done, with many people struggling to accomplish just that with little success.
There are a lot of fancy methods to do so, but in my experience, it takes time and application for a mindset to truly sink in.
5) Moving on
Thus far we have mainly discussed the theory of overcoming this fear.
That is to say, the kind of mindset that you should adopt in order to improve your condition.
Sure, all of that is well and good, but the only way to actually improve is to apply your change in mindset.
Humiliating yourself in public just to get desynthesized to the judgment of others is not the way to go about it though.
Rather, you should simply continue living your life without letting your decisions and thoughts be swayed as much by other people.
Thanks to the tools and methods provided in this article thus far you will be able to get over your worry over time.
It will not be an overnight process, it might even take you a while, but as long as you keep these ideas in mind you will get better sooner or later.
The most important thing is to keep at it
It might be discomfortable at first, but it will be worth it in the end.
You can do it!
As it turns out, the fear of being judged is ultimately a pointless one.
Some fears are caused by your natural desire to protect yourself, but this one isn’t.
Being rejected by others is a difficult and sometimes even painful experience, which makes this fear understandable.
Ultimately, however, it is pointless.
You will be judged by others throughout your life, and you will never be able to satisfy everyone that you meet.
In many cases, you will find just as many people who are pleased with you as those who are not.
In the end, to overcome this fear you need to get used to this idea, perhaps with a little bit of help along the way.
I would recommend trying out the Shyness and Social Anxiety System for more specialized help.
In this program you will find exactly what you need to do to overcome all kinds of social fears and how to gain a measure of confidence, so you should definitely check it out.
Before you do that, however, here’s a quick question: Why do you think that we are scared of the judgment of others?
Be sure to write down your answers in the comment section below – I read every single one of them!
If you got any further questions then please feel free to get in touch with me via email.